winterset

yesterday was fog and then rain and then wind and then sleet and then snow and then sun and then snow and then a snow-bow and then that western mesa sunset that paints all red and orange and purple, not pastel like in the east but vivid colour. now is winter on the high plains, in portales. i finished with oz one more time, wished it well and fled to my retreat, new mexico. ah tejas i gave you my best but... well you who dwell under the thumb of the wheelchaired menace know who you are. las cruces beckons...come see me there in the new year. gay solstice to you all,brooks

now is the hurricane, in central texas. mother nature has got us on the run for a change. i have been reminded of her power and beauty recently, being pounded by fist-sized hailstones on i 40 in new mexico, watching the thunderstorms and rainbows from a cabin overlooking mesa verde, standing on the overlook on the pass above flaming gorge, and then, the eclipse. whenever i see one of my "leaders: acting all in-charge i superimpose the hailstones bouncing off their pointy heads and say"now, really, who is in charge of this world?" not them. not me.

faith in the process

faith in the process--today i am living in fear. what do i do to protect mySELF? i plan, i travel to a planned place, safe from surprises(ho, sure). what would happen if i gave in to just traveling, wandering, really trusting my gut, just turning left up there and going for a while? and where is my validation<Oh Brooks I am sooo proud of your courage to just leave and travel and blah-blah-blah>? one usually unspoken reason for my doing this thing was to escape the daily life of my daily life in oz: i was tired of responsibilities(like property ownership/management), tired of relating to those AA people, lonely and hoping i might find my true love out there, somewhere. and guess what? if i can't find someone worth loving in me i won't find any Other. there is no Other today, just me and Blessed Babaji, who just points that-a-way and says "Jah. Go." as i try to cling to my vision of the Beloved it shifts back to the man in the mirrour. so i will go on; i will go with less planning, more faith in myself, my HP and the place where i sit, tonight, watching a massive thunderstorm over Mesa Verde. namaste, &*(ches

now it's a wonder, women, to me, a man, why we are giving space in our brain to another "hero/ine" who thrills us by killing, maiming, blowing up stuff and then saying that "love is the answer" WHA? i did not see any love in that movie, and the one piece of "lovin" was not shown....wouldn't want people to get the wrong idea. i am still waiting for the true feminine to come out somewhere, not just a female figure acting out male fantasies. nice costume, Diana, beautiful homeland, but must there be war? i know that men seem to really want that but seriously? self defense is one thing, but that was not that. i want to kiss and hug my enemies until they feel the love; or feed them and wish them well. war is not the answer, it's like ^&*(ing for virginity(remember the 60's?) namaste, brooks

now is a day of remembrance, of honoring those who went into battle and were injured or died. yesterday i drove along the Civil War/ Trail of Tears Highway in Arkansas and did some remembering.The victims of warring are not just soldiers, sometimes they are civilians, sometimes they are just children in a house that suddenly explodes. I want to also honor those who stand against war, whose hope is that there will be an evolution of personhood that will make war and warring a thing of our past. So mote it be 

now is the anniversary of my dad's birth. 97 years. he's been gone for about ten years, but i look in the mirrour and see him in me. thanks for the training, dad, you taught me that a man can be different from johnwayne and them and still be okay. 

now is the sunset across the city of queens. i contemplate the fiery end of a day and think of my friend CB who is busy dying from cancer. there will be a great loss of sunshine as she passes, for she is a beautiful redhead a temptress and a true believer. her heart has been tried and found pure gold. her love is unconditional. she has been a true friend to this old queen, welcoming and honest"you need to go now" and i will go on. singing the praise of a woman, a goddess, and maybe even a saint. pass on, sistah, ease and comfort be your companions, you live in my heart, namaste,goldenrod.