5/17/18 -4 the living-
now i sat and watched her go to death. she looked surprised and then relieved. i kissed her cheek and closed her eyes; i cried a bit and then i sang--i sang a hymn she loved to hear, and then i danced around the room because at last we both were free, she from her empty nest, me from my too-full planning.
i made the calls, the hearse arrived. they let me wash her face and hands, and took her off to fix her hair and prepare for one last matinee.
some time has past, five years and more. i've lost more kin and lovers, too. now that i know no fear no death, i move between the worlds at peace, and try to breathe in all i can, and then release it all again, in hopes of finding rest and peace by dying all the way at last.
my mom and dad are gone away, my husband and my brothers, too. i see them in the rising moon; i feel their love inside myself, and all is well and all is well, and all they were is here within my heart, my art, my way of life:  no need to wish for any more.