now is about intent. as i return to the east i wonder just what is this journey all about? it has been 10 months and i am still drifting from one place to another. and that was the purpose, after all. but as i face east(air/new beginnings) i set my intention to BE love. not to make love or give love(although those are fine, too) but to just look out of my eyes into the eyes of each being i meet and be love with them. without words(getting tired of words, me), without touch(very difficult for me), just eye-to-eye and hopefully heart-to-heart. and to you my beloveds i send my devotion and that love that is greater than just my love,brooksie

now is bosque redondo. in 1863 the us army moved 9000 natives(apaches and navajos) from their homeland in western new mexico/eastern arizona to a prairie in south-central new mexico a "walk" of about 500 miles. most of the apaches did not stay(remember geronimo?) but the navajo did, until 1868, when they were released to walk back to their homeland. 7300 returned. as a white man who has studied us history i was still shocked to realize the extent of the genocide practiced and the rape of the culture: having just traveled from the window rock "capital" of the navajo to the veritable wasteland near ft sumner new mexico i could sit in my air conditioned van and imagine the shock of the Dineh. if you have not read up on their plight, i would only ask that you do so in remembrance of that struggle and thoughtfully as we look at a nation that prides itself on freedom. i am sad and angry today, and ashamed that i "live in a country where justice is just a game(B. Dylan)"

cool in colorado

now is being alone again after a week travelling with a dear friend. her company was so warm and welcome and we said lots of things to each other and discussed ourselves and revealed a little more of who we are now. and now is alamosa colorado, in a very ancient motel by the side of the highway, in the rain, in the 60 degrees, and i am once again alone. and loving it. last night i had a small breakdown because someone that i long for is far away, so i cried, and conjured him up and told him so, and held him(or the motel pillow)and then went to sleep. i need companionship and touch and all that BUT i am also so happy on my own. no insult to all of you my beloveds, you remain so, but tonight i sleep alone and revel in it.